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    7/26/2006

    唯美

          我们把破碎当作美,把不完满的东西停放在思想的残骸.紧紧的抓住痛的感觉.珍惜伤怀.失落.遗憾、离别.思念..甚至毁灭.最最要不得的完美.决不是幸福的存在.我们只满足于慢慢刀割似的疼痛.在这样的时刻我们泪流满面,自虐似的满足..最残缺的成为了最完整的,填满内心.这种美有种病态的情愫,包括我们自己.称之为”唯美主义”. 
     
         我喜欢日本这个国家的文化,它是最东方的,最传统的,同时却是最颓废.最野性.最堕落.这样两个极端的夹缝中,很多东西在渐渐消亡.就像樱花将逝,悄然无声.可这个民族的内心却在挣扎.像个深渊,每个人都在痛苦的向上攀爬.寻求真相.期待回归.当然,我并不喜欢他们的高傲自大,可日本确实是极具东方美的代表之一.温泉、木桥、庭院、神社、书法、茶道等等。他们的文化如此传统的保留下来,并引以为傲,中国人在此当汗然而对。当然最重要的是,这里还有我最喜欢的导演,岩井俊二。
     
          在他的片子里,我会感觉到像是走进了我们彼此的心灵。当然,他的片子无一完满。可却最能满足我。我可以幻化成角色之一,也可以成为一个旁观者。存在于一个世界中,属于我的世界。我窥视到了自己的内心,有软弱的、谎言的、玩笑的、卑劣的,也有善良的、羞涩的、诚恳的、认真的。那么多那么多,除了虚伪。我们只表现最真实的自我,可能还有些朦胧的色彩,可我们认的出来,因为我们都走着同一条路,我们都在寻找,寻找一个存在的真相,一个理由,然后回归宁静。
       
          在这样的过程中,我们知道完美只是一场骗局。关于自由的信仰终将破灭。在它摔向地面的时候我们会痛彻心肺。所以我们不再期待,知道等待我们的只是一场宿命。美丽的东西终将消亡。默默的,悄无声息。我们看着这宿命的过程,泪流满面。生和死的距离那么近,那么简简单单,这才是美,才是真谛。

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